Consensus Building July 2, 2007

I am so happy to be back home, you don’t even know! And that Barry is home from Europe! OMFG! I was so thrilled when I saw him Friday night, I just wanted to rip the buttons off his shirt, run my fingers over his chest and lick him. I wanted to bury my nose in his hair and smell him. I just couldn’t stop kissing him. I missed that man so much! Recurring theme here is that it is crazy of me to feel this way. It is so crazy. I have never felt this way about another person in my life. Honest! While I have been in love before, its never felt like this before. What I feel is so different, so good and so right.

He fed me dinner last night, a recipe his mother gave him. It was a delicious concoction of mushrooms, spicy sweet peppers, onions and chicken in a heavy cream sauce. It was the third time he has cooked for me, and I must say he does a fine job. So I brought home the left overs, and the kids gobbled it up. When he came over this evening to drop off gifts for the kids, Hannah said, “Barry needs to cook for us again!”

Barry called me later to tell me, “It makes me happy to hear your kids say they want me to cook for them!”

Oh, Barry, it makes me happy, too!

Whiskers On Kittens… July 2, 2007

7/01/07
It’s Official. Tomorrow is Monday, my first day back to work after a two week “vacation.” I need a vacation to decompress from the vacation I just took! I thought I’d get a jump start on the day tomorrow and began downloading my work email. There are over 500 messages to sort through (half of which I am sure are spam) but at least I won’t have to wade through all of them in the morning, and while that is happening, I can post to my blog.

I didn’t want to get all bummed thinking about going back to work tomorrow, so I thought I’d think about things that make me happy. While we were traveling through the mountains of Wyoming, my 2 year old picked a gorgeous bouquet of wildflowers and that made me happy.

The Last Day Of Our Trip July 2, 2007

6/29/07
OMFG! I am so frustrated right now! I have not had phone service for hundreds of miles-nearly 3/4 of this trip!–and all I want to do is text Barry “xxx ooo”, just to let him know I am thinking about him. God, I miss him. I am actually sick over this, that I can’t see him. I am effin’ crazy. I have known him for less than two months and I feel like the penguins in the love scenes on Happy Feet! I am nucking futs over this guy! Crazy, hu?

Not only does my phone not work, but I have not been able to blow dry my hair in a week, I have run out of clean undies and have gone commando for the last three days and my legs and feet are dry and chapped. I need to pluck my eyebrows, I have blisters on the tops of my feet from the shoes I brought along for the party, and I have run out of regenerist serum for my face, so my pores are ginormous and my skin itches. I have been putting hand lotion in my hair because it is the only thing I have that keeps the frizzies somewhat at bay, and I just hope to god that we do get home tonight because I have no more clean pants to wear after today!

I heard from Chelsea last night that my yard has not been mowed this entire two weeks, so I am sure I have some kind of fine from the neighborhood association. Yikes!

Oh, and I completely forgot about my car. The back seat is flipped down and won’t go back up because the tension in the seat belt is stuck. Great. So, we’ll get home and I will have to drive the kids home in the night with no seat belts or no seat to actually sit in.

And mostly, I just really fucking miss Barry.

As You Wish July 2, 2007

6/28/07
I had a dream early this morning and I don’t remember much about it except that in my dream I was snuggling with Barry and feeling very comfortable in his arms when he whispered that he loved me. It startled me to hear his words, and I woke up.

I was rather disappointed to learn that I was still on this god-forsaken trip, asleep in this camper, 800 miles away from him. I was so hoping that I’d wake up in his arms and that I’d roll over into the crook of his arm, my head on his chest, look into his half-opened eyes and kiss his lips. I want to kiss him when he says it because I just know that when he does say it, the words will pour from his mouth and taste like honey.

I want to say it, too, but I feel that it is too soon. I have only known him since the begining of May. And this entire month, he’s been in Ireland visiting his family, so I haven’t seen him at all. However, he has called me on average two or three times every day to talk. I have this feeling that when we do see each other, I will have to bite my tongue to keep from giving up my words too soon. We’ll just have to wait and see.