It’s The Little Things That Make Life A Big Deal October 20, 2007

Gosh, I hope my last post hasn’t come off as all depressing and sad. I am really happy. Really. And today has been a real interesting day in terms of gratitude. I think the more you are thankful for what you have, the more you are blessed …and continue to be blessed.

What has happened so far today is proof that there is a God and that He does love unconditionally! And those events are nothing huge, mind you…little things like waking up in a comfortable home that is heated while outside, the skies are dark and gray and it’s beating down rain. Having coffe klatch with my neighbors before going off and starting our days. Little things like having only $75 to spend on groceries and getting everything I needed for $74.86. Like having Stephanie, the gal I rent from, stop by just to say hello and I happened to have had a money order for her for next month’s rent. (Whew, six more weeks of not worrying about house payments! YES!)

I have been so giddy all day long, I am like the school child kicking her feet under the sheets the night before Christmas just to release some nervous energy.

And tonight, I am spending the evening with my girlfriends watching chick flicks and gabbing it up.

Life is good!

P.S. And just as I finished this post, I looked out the window at my car. There on the windsheild was a CostPlus bag, something from World Market. I went out to see what it was, and inside was a jumbo-sized package of Flake (Irish chocolate bars.) Hmmm…..God is Great!

Bon Apetit October 19, 2007

Have you noticed how after you hear a word or phrase for the first time, you start to hear it over and over again in various conversations? Well, this happened to me the other day. Only, I have heard the Word before. It just seems like this time, the Word keeps appearing in increasing frequencies, to the point I find myself seeking It out at every opportunity.

I look back on the days after my marriage to Doug ended (yesterday would have been our 10 year wedding anniversary) and I remember reading the Psalms everynight before I went to sleep, closing my eyes with the feeling Christ Himself had rocked me to sleep. I don’t know what happened to this routine or the feeling. Perhaps He fell asleep.  Or maybe I haven’t woken up from my slumber.

I just know this feeling started to occur after I sold my favorite Bible at a yard sale. This was somewhat accidental…I didn’t realize it had been put out with my other books until a nice lady asked how much I wanted for it. At first I balked, but an inner voice told me she needed it more than I did at this time, not to worry, I’ll get another Bible to replace this one. So I sold it to her for $1.  That was four years ago; I haven’t read the Bible since.

I am hungry for some faith right now, something solid in my life, something steady. I think God hears the hunger rumbles and is reaching out to me. I think He inserts Himself into my daily conversations because He is trying to wake me up. I liken this situation I am experiencing to the one of being a kid and waking up to the smell of bacon and pancakes on Saturday morning (mmm…that hasn’t happened in a very long time. That sounds so delicious right about now! I am so hungry, I would devour every last morsel of that hearty and rich breakfast.)

Yes, that sounds so delicious right about now.

God, I need You.

Channeling Mary Catherine Gallagher September 25, 2007

To sum up how I feel tonight, I’d like to share a scene from the 1993 hit movie, “A Thing Called Love,” in which Samantha Mathis portrays Miranda, a woman who knows a thing or two about struggle and triumph.

Coincidence… or Synchronicity? Maybe. July 27, 2007

The difference between the right word and the wrong word is like the difference between lightening and lightening bug. ~ Mark Twain.

Semantics. It’s not how you say it. It is what you say. Make every word count. I don’t like to use the word maybe. The word “maybe” bugs me because it is flaky. A wishy-washy and indecisive word, and I just don’t have time for that kind of energy in my life.

It’s 1:00 in the morning and I am lying awake in bed, my mind racing. It’s hot and sticky and my air conditioner is broken…STILL! I step outside on the back patio and look up at the sky. The stars are vivid and the moon is so close. The big dipper is framed by the neighbors trees. I wish I could stay up to see the Dog Star, Sirius, rising this morning. That’s when it occurs to me, we have entered the Dog Days of Summer. How could I have forgotten such an important event?

I had to quickly google any hommage paid to one of my heroes, Robert Anton Wilson, the man who taught me about Sirius. RAW passed away earlier this year, but since July 23 was a very significant day in his life/ writing, I was sure there’d be some kind of celebration in his honor somewhere. As I searched, I stumbled across a website called http://www.maybelogic.com/. This site, I learned, is also the name of the new feature length documentary about RAW.

Even in his death, he imparts wisdom. Maybe Logic. Hu. How perfect.

The man himself was flaky and nebulous and fabulous and never subscribed to one “reality”, ever. He was a life long learner, experiencing things firsthand in an effort to get the best education. He was a Buddhist, Taoist, Catholic, Wiccan, Discordian, and Mason. He was a conspiracy theorist, writer, quantum physicist, hippy, pot-brownie-eating reporter with post-polio disease who, in his later life, was confined to a wheel chair and he never let it get him down.
He wrote about perception and what we think is real and how not to take life too seriously. He never took sides, always presented both sides, telling his audience, “you decide”. He inspired me to jump out of my own reality tunnel and take a look around with different eyes. He talked about humanity and interplanetary communication. He never judged, never told anyone how to live, never doubted anyone’s experiences. Just reported his experiences and provided great examples of a life well-lived. RAW was successful on many levels, has known monetary riches and has lived in poverty. He loved hugely: his wife Arlen, his family, his friends and fans.

So, this morning, I am writing all of this and I am rethinking my disdain for the word “maybe.” Jack Johnson says “maybe pretty much always means no.” In true RAW-inspired fashion, I confess: maybe could also mean yes.

But seriously, you decide.

Who’s this new guy, Craig Fergusen? July 19, 2007

I have nothing clever or witty to report. I am up late, waiting for my towels to wash so I can throw them in the dryer before I go to bed. Jay, Jimmy and David are all vying for my attention. Right now, David is winning. I’m not sure who it is, but some cool new musician is performing on his show.

Ooo, I do have something to report…my psychic premonitions are back. I think because I started taking the Pill, my hormones are all out of whack and I am having a difficult time adjusting. So, anyway my psychic premonitions were back in full force this morning. I thought about my little brother early this a.m. and when I checked my email at nine o’clock, guess whose name was in my inbox? And…as I was getting dressed for work, I “saw” that Stephanie had on her cute brown capri’s with the aqua pinstripe and an aqua colored top. When I arrived at the office, that is what she was wearing…

I am not crazy. I do not believe I am psychic. It only happens with my loved ones, and it is never anything of great importance. Every once in awhile I will have a passing thought about them, and then stuff like this happens.

Silly me. I am so tired right now, I shouldn’t be writing. It’s like drinking and driving…I am bound to hurt someone.
So with that, I will log off here and call it good for now.
Goodnight.