If you can’t laugh at the little things, the big ones will make you cry. September 7, 2007

I am pretty much all moved in to my new house, and I have to say, the vibes I get here are so much better than where we used to live. I did smudge the place before we moved in, with my homemade New Mexico sage smudge stick. Maybe this is a contributing factor. At any rate, whether its that, the floor plan, the North/South orientation, the vaulted ceilings…I can’t really say, but the home is so much more comfortable and inviting. I feel like being a home body all the time. Only…

Only, I haven’t had a moment to relax since I’ve moved in. Tonight I was supposed to be in three places at once. Griffin had a scrimmage, Hannah’s open house was tonight, and it was also my company’s annual employee appreciation party. My neighbor took Griffin to the game, we skipped Hannah’s open house and, as a manager, I was obligated to be at the company function. (I know, I know! As a parent, it’s my obligation to be at my child’s open house…argh! I kinda can’t wait until the 15th, when my work schedule is reduced to 2 days a week!)

 As I drove to Boise tonight, I had to take the back roads. The freeway was closed down…apparantly some bank robber attempted suicide on the side of the road, and the police closed it off as a crime scene. (Geez…I am not really making a great case for Idaho lately, hu?) ANYWAY, I was late to the company party. Even though the burgers were nearly gone and the potato salad was warm and all the ice cream melted, we still had a good time. My girls painted, participated in the cake walk and got to dig through the horse shavings for money!

On a more serious note, I found a lump in my breast a few days ago. I went to the doctor today to get it checked out and I was given some antibiotics to take; she was unsure if it is a swollen lymph node or if it is something more serious. Her expression didn’t sound too convincing. I will have a mamogram next week…I am a little freaked out, but optimistic it’s all going to be okay.

Barry showed up to my appointment to show his support. Yes, I broke up with him or I tried to, anyway. Like a true salesman, he doesn’t hear the word no. He strong-armed me into giving us another shot.

What did it for me was that he made me laugh through my tears. A real hearty laugh. I felt in that very second that life is too short and you just have to laugh at the silly things. As we were sitting and talking about the situation, he read the medicine bottle. The instructions say to “take one tablet twice daily after eating for 7 days.” Peculiar. He said I better get started now. I have a lot of eating to do.  

And all I can say is TGTF! I am so happy the weekend is just around the corner. I am really looking forward to spending some quality time with my TV on Friday night.

All You Care to Eat at the Cathode Ray Tube Buffet July 25, 2007

I am not so bad as some. I am not the 300 pound woman in line at the all you can eat buffet, loading my two plates with mounds of startch-laden foods and topping my ice cream with sushi. Some go in with the mentality that they are going to get as much as they possibly can for the $8.95.

They say you are what you eat.

I say you are what you watch.

I confess. I am a TV junkie. Ask me what was on TV last night, and I’ll tell you. I don’t have cable, and I don’t have TiVo. (I don’t know if either of these things are a good thing.) But even by junkie standards, I do have my limits.

Now, since I am comparing TV to all you can eat buffet, I must say…I do enjoy a good buffet every once in awhile. You can find something good now and again. But, because I am relegated to network television, I am forced to graze on what sells. Just because the selection seems limitless, doesn’t mean its healthy. In fact, the selection is exaclty like the startch-laden foods at the buffet. Mostly filler and fluff. And tasteless.

I avoid NBC’s “Perverted Justice” & “To Catch a Predator” shows just like I avoid the meatloaf. Those idiots are so creepy and they deserve to squirm on national TV, and I get sick when I watch it. I hate the court shows, where they try to reconstruct the events and tell a story around the hearing. Court shows are the glossy green beans that had been sprayed with filler before they were put out in the chafing dish. I hate the “I Lost My Fat” shows. These are the tasteless soft-serve ice cream twists.

If you want me to watch that stuff, you may as well put a feed bag on my face.

But…if you look close enough, you can find something healthy; metaphorical spinach leaves and grapes like History Detectives, Austin City Limits, Boston Legal, Jimmy Kimmel, Last Comic Standing and American Idol (but only after the competition begins because everything prior is just mean.) These shows are entertaining and thoughtful, a healthy serving of humanities, history, and most importantly, self-respect.

Must-See TV? *Wretching noises* July 20, 2007

OMG! This is too much! It’s not even 15 minutes into the special, and I just can’t take any more! Posh effin’ spice is ridiculous! TV is off!

Okay. It’s back on. It’s like a train wreck, I have to look. Damn it. These people have more money than fuck, and they are ignorant. Its a huge peeve of mine. It pisses me off, you know. I get so upset when I think about the wasted potential! How is it possible the stupid ones can be so loaded?

In my education/ career path, I’ve come across individuals who’ve not taken the important things seriously. Sure, I know that “important things” is a relative term. My important things? Well, making the most of an education, for one.

For instance, there was a portly young lady who had a college degree in communications. We worked together at the Chamber of Commerce, where she was the Convention & Visitor’s Bureau Director and I was the Communications & Special Events Coordinator. She couldn’t compose a sentence to save her life! It used to pain me to proof her contributions for the monthly newsletter! I’d feel nauseous whenever I received an email from her, simply because she made it so difficult for her readers to wade through her message!

But that’s not what really made me ill. What really pained me was the fact that she studied COMMUNICATIONS for FOUR F’ING YEARS! She had a BA in Communications! Which (need I say it?) implies she was supposed to know how to communicate! Pitty her Alma Mater! (Note to self…don’t send my children there!)

Another peeve of mine is the selling-out of my heros. I have been enjoying the musings of Diablo Cody for some time now. She blogs about her experiences as an unlikely stripper in Minneapolis. Her recent book, “Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper,” (which I have yet to read) is being met with rave reviews.

However, I’ve noticed that since she’s moved to LA, her blog entries are no longer as amusing. She writes about the B List celebrities she meets at parties, and I just hope, hope, hope Diablo’s integrity as a writer does not suffer for her forays into the limelight.

Oh Diablo, you have so much wit and charm and you’ve used it so well! Please don’t go over to the other side! Please!

Who’s this new guy, Craig Fergusen? July 19, 2007

I have nothing clever or witty to report. I am up late, waiting for my towels to wash so I can throw them in the dryer before I go to bed. Jay, Jimmy and David are all vying for my attention. Right now, David is winning. I’m not sure who it is, but some cool new musician is performing on his show.

Ooo, I do have something to report…my psychic premonitions are back. I think because I started taking the Pill, my hormones are all out of whack and I am having a difficult time adjusting. So, anyway my psychic premonitions were back in full force this morning. I thought about my little brother early this a.m. and when I checked my email at nine o’clock, guess whose name was in my inbox? And…as I was getting dressed for work, I “saw” that Stephanie had on her cute brown capri’s with the aqua pinstripe and an aqua colored top. When I arrived at the office, that is what she was wearing…

I am not crazy. I do not believe I am psychic. It only happens with my loved ones, and it is never anything of great importance. Every once in awhile I will have a passing thought about them, and then stuff like this happens.

Silly me. I am so tired right now, I shouldn’t be writing. It’s like drinking and driving…I am bound to hurt someone.
So with that, I will log off here and call it good for now.
Goodnight.

The Beckhams are coming to America! July 12, 2007

Posh is being interviewed by Matt Lauer. She said not that many people are aware of who they are here in America. This is the begining of the effort to educate the American masses. I wonder if the papparazzi photographing her during her interview were real…or if Victoria hired the photographers for this P.R stunt?

Barry told me it was reported in Europe that Posh and David were pissed because the paparzzi didn’t follow them around in LA and that they did not close down Rodeo drive for their shopping trip adventure.

Boo Effing Who.

But secretly, I want her life. I want to be wealthy like that, with a happy marriage, and white teeth.

I will be watching the special on tv. Monday, July 16, 8pm Central. NBC.

Sick, hu?